How well do you truly know our host, Danna Gift? Join us for a special episode where we turn the tables and uncover the captivating life story of Danna herself. From her Filipino heritage and her parents' journey to the United States, to the challenges and triumphs that have shaped her into the empowered woman she is today, we dive deep into the personal experiences that make Danna tick.
We explore Danna's relationships and emotions, particularly surrounding her parents' marriage, her mother's strength, and her own journey through marriage and divorce. Listen in as we discuss her navigation of various career paths, including being a flight attendant, a fitness competitor, and a real estate agent, and how this has shaped her perspective on life and love. We also delve into healing, self-discovery, and finding one's purpose through it all.
Danna shares her journey of rediscovering her passion for content creation and the importance of embracing playfulness in our lives. This intimate look into the life of our very own host will not only entertain but also inspire you to reflect on your own journey and purpose. So, grab your headphones and join us as we celebrate and learn from the captivating life of Danna Gift.
If you want to participate and interact with the show, head over to www.dannagift.com where you can submit your topics or questions you want to hear on any upcoming episodes. I'm excited to hear from you!
How well do you truly know our host, Danna Gift? Join us for a special episode where we turn the tables and uncover the captivating life story of Danna herself. From her Filipino heritage and her parents' journey to the United States, to the challenges and triumphs that have shaped her into the empowered woman she is today, we dive deep into the personal experiences that make Danna tick.
We explore Danna's relationships and emotions, particularly surrounding her parents' marriage, her mother's strength, and her own journey through marriage and divorce. Listen in as we discuss her navigation of various career paths, including being a flight attendant, a fitness competitor, and a real estate agent, and how this has shaped her perspective on life and love. We also delve into healing, self-discovery, and finding one's purpose through it all.
Danna shares her journey of rediscovering her passion for content creation and the importance of embracing playfulness in our lives. This intimate look into the life of our very own host will not only entertain but also inspire you to reflect on your own journey and purpose. So, grab your headphones and join us as we celebrate and learn from the captivating life of Danna Gift.
If you want to participate and interact with the show, head over to www.dannagift.com where you can submit your topics or questions you want to hear on any upcoming episodes. I'm excited to hear from you!
And we are recording in three, two, one.
Dylan Warter:What's up, ladies and gentlemen?
Danna Gift:don't take it over my podcast. Welcome to another episode of the Donna gift show.
Dylan Warter:I'm the host.
Danna Gift:Yeah, dylan's taking over.
Dylan Warter:Sorry, guys All right, we're starting that over again. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, listeners of all ages 13 and above, 18 and above Just that, this isn't for kids. Anyways, i am your special guest, host Dylan Warder, and I'm going to be interviewing the Donna gift, the actual host of the Donna gift show. She has been a a baby once upon a time, a emo child in her room, stroking a guitar okay, singing sad songs.
Danna Gift:I forget.
Dylan Warter:She has been a fitness competitor, a flight attendant, a wife not mine. She has also Been a real estate agent and, throughout all of that Sense, a very young child was a content creator and still is by the tenant to.
Danna Gift:Did you say that?
Dylan Warter:I sure did Oh, We are going to be and also has had some wild Childhood experiences. So we're gonna cover it all today We're gonna dive in and the reason why we're doing this is because she never talks about herself and, in most cases, refuses to. So I'm going to extract all the information that you guys want to know about her and make her talk about it, and we're gonna dive deep. So Everybody wants to know. Let's start from the beginning.
Danna Gift:Everybody wants to know this clearly. I think this might just be a you question. Um, it's been great.
Dylan Warter:Just kidding, we're gonna start off with childhood. Where'd you go up, oh?
Danna Gift:Oh, Palmdale, California, I'm a man afro man.
Dylan Warter:Why are you referencing afro man?
Danna Gift:He's the one who put us on the map.
Dylan Warter:Palmdale on that put palmdale on the map pee on that so he is the pioneer.
Danna Gift:He's not the actual high. You know what the fuck.
Dylan Warter:All right. So, palmdale, how old are you Do? you were born there.
Danna Gift:No, I'm Oakland.
Dylan Warter:You're born in Oakland, mm-hmm move the palmdale. Yes, very young age grew up in Palmdale, yep.
Danna Gift:Okay, majority of my Childhood what?
Dylan Warter:what age range?
Danna Gift:From a baby to maybe about 18, okay, yeah walk us through it.
Dylan Warter:How a childhood.
Danna Gift:Who like there's a lot of things I guess anything to report from like zero to ten. Jesus Can't recall. Okay, so from zero to ten.
Dylan Warter:High as lows. What was the experience? kind of growing up in that? That's like the age range when you're getting programmed, so like maybe a little bit about your family, where they're from. Oh yeah. To kind of give a little bit of that about the culture that you kind of grew up in cool.
Danna Gift:So I'm Filipino, if you guys didn't know that. So my both my parents are from the Philippines. My dad was first of our family to Bring our family to the States, basically. So he did that by being in the Navy and Went back home, married my mom, and my mom has only ever had one boyfriend, who is my dad. So she is a one-and-done type of woman, and he brought her to the States and from there she planted her seeds, which is me and my brother and She plans her seeds, or he planted his seeds in her and then she Doctor Harvested you out of her.
Danna Gift:It's a very strange way to put it, but yes, that's basically what happened. Okay, never looked at it like that, but I actually sex ed taught me that so it grew up with just me, my brother, mostly we were very My parents always had a community. They always found the other Filipinos. I don't know how it's like they have a radar for it but Yeah, they're just out there screaming for Filipinos. There's actually a Filipino call. It goes Filipino.
Danna Gift:I'm kidding Older so, yeah, he's older, he's about three years older than me and Yeah, we had a pretty like solid, you know, growing up. It wasn't I mean we didn't grow up rich by any means we were definitely like figuring it out in the States and was like paycheck, paycheck or Like comfortable, but like.
Dylan Warter:The comfort could change at any moment.
Danna Gift:It was definitely the second. It was comfortable, but we didn't spend anything beyond our means. We were like goodwill shoppers, that's where we shopped at or hand me downs. But a lot of our strain did come from my dad always sending money back to the Philippines like kind of in a Pull, at a point where it was difficult for us to kind of get by because he would give so much away. And so I remember my parents arguing a lot about my dad not, you know, caring for his immediate family and I don't really know what was going on at the time.
Danna Gift:I just knew that my mom was always upset and my dad giving away our money, oh, and I grew up with a lot of daycare kids, so my mom had her own business and she took care of like I think there was like at 1.10 of us, which is actually kind of crazy. Yeah, i mean that was pretty fun. I was. I. I was a bully. I was a bully at that age like pretty young, always. I'm nice. Now, actually, you know what? I think I was always nice.
Danna Gift:I just had a lot of issues going growing up and a lot of jealousy because my parents would give a lot of attention to this other girl. I remember her name, shadelle boom a god, if you're here listening. So, yeah, she would give they would give a lot of attention to her because She was always, you know, a good kid. She'd come home, she'd do her homework, have it all finished and ready and I would be fucking around, you know, playing outside of the dirt, catching worms and trying to race them in the sewer. I was always a weird kid. I'm gonna ask a hard question.
Danna Gift:Okay.
Dylan Warter:What's your prettier than you?
Danna Gift:know, i don't think so. I don't know, i could be wrong, because every for beauty is me. I'd be beholder.
Dylan Warter:But or the beer holder.
Danna Gift:Yeah, I mean, I was always like the I Hate to fucking say it but, i, wasn't bad looking growing up, and I've never been horrible. Well, you know what, though? I did have an ugly duckling stage. I was fucking horrid at like five or six.
Dylan Warter:I had a unibrow.
Danna Gift:You had a unibrow at a unibrow, a gap in my teeth. People called me Madonna because I had the Madonna gap And then because I had a unibrow, i was so insecure about it. I remember shaving it.
Dylan Warter:You'd be like the Filipino Suki from True Blood.
Danna Gift:Yeah, basically.
Dylan Warter:Oh my god, i forgot about her picture right here. Filipino Suki. You grew up with a lot of not foster kids but day kids, did that? what kind of like that created any insecurities for you, or is that kind of where some of that jealousy came from? How did that change the dynamic with your family? I Just asked you three questions to pick one.
Danna Gift:So I guess it did. I feel like maybe it did translate to some of the jealousy because I Always felt like the bad kid, because my parents were. I was like, oh well, why don't you be more like Shadelle and she does her homework on time and and your like I had A's, which was insane. I was, i was always getting A's, so I just didn't see the point in doing my homework Right when I got home, when there was other things I was interested in, like toys and playing outside and my grades were good, so I didn't fucking care. And I think my parents kind of just You know the traditional Asian parents they wanted me to become a nurse, they wanted me to be really good in school and this was our shot in America and that that should have been that.
Danna Gift:I, i don't know. There's a lot of weight on my shoulder, i feel, for being like first generation, and not only that, our family back at home, when we would actually jump on the phone calls with them. The first thing I remember there was one point where I hadn't talked to my grandma in like six, seven years, not one fucking word. And They finally, like put her on the phone with me and her first question was are you going to send money Like that's? yeah. At that point I was like old, i was older, i was like I don't know, 18, maybe.
Dylan Warter:And she wanted to know if you were gonna send her money.
Danna Gift:Yeah, oh yeah They. That was like always the topic of conversation, like when am I gonna send money, when am I gonna help support the family back at home, and I probably had only seen them a handful of times at this point. So it was very like I felt like a like a lot of weight and kind of a cash cow, without any emotional attachment. Yeah, i don't know, maybe that's also why I was just. I was bullied a lot and so I think I bullied the daycare kids because I felt like that was my, my space, you know, i felt like that was my place I could control, because I was the daycare provider's daughter. Ah, that's something I think I just now realized.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, do you feel like that translates to, or translated to, how your Relationships developed as a Teenager and into your early adult years?
Danna Gift:Um, i wouldn't say maybe the jealousy. Yeah, on some degree I would have to dig into that a little bit more. I feel like it actually turned me nicer in a way, because I was Me like when I was mean to these kids. It was fun and games for a little bit, but then I started seeing Some of the darker sides result from my bullying with these kids And then I think there was something in me that I was like holy fuck, i Didn't think that they would be crying like. I remember there was one point where Me and my brother both had two different clubs right, he had the boys club, i had the girls club and we were not allowed in each other's club. Our club was like two people in it Including ourselves like one person.
Danna Gift:It was basically our best friend and I remember making chateau Fucking goat there was. We had these two trees in our front yard And there was a branch that was like sitting just above the other branch where you could, if you tried and like we're brave enough, you could actually step down into this other branch and cross the other tree and go down, and so that was one of my initiations. I thought would be really cool And I made chateau go up there. It was like super peer pressure to the max. I'm like if you don't fucking do this, you're not cool. She really just wanted to be my friend. Now that I think about, i feel really bad. She even wanted like my gel pens and I didn't let her copy me Like I was. I was not nice and so I forced up these tree and made her cross And I remember her getting stuck at the branches because she couldn't find the branch underneath and she starts Crying, falling her eyes off. She's traumatized, like just frozen in fear.
Danna Gift:She hasn't been inside a tree since probably not, and I, i like I didn't know how to soothe talk. It was more of an aggressive like get the fuck down here, stop being a baby. From those stories I have so many stories of when I was a bully, so many stories. But yeah, so from those times when I was a bully, i think I it kind of Internally hurt me more than I realized. I don't think I actually consciously recognized that it was Not good, but it felt on a gut instinct way that I shouldn't be picking on these kids.
Dylan Warter:Interesting so That carried into? like what age do you feel like that started to fade?
Danna Gift:Hmm, probably like teenage years, i think, when I started to Get interested in boys I didn't really have a care about uh, boys, yeah, boys, for sure, boys compared to what an actual man is. I Guess some points there. Um, yeah, i'd say probably around teenage. I'd say like 14, 15.
Dylan Warter:Okay, and then you're interested in boys until about 31. Yes, I finally decided to be interested in men. Yeah, got it. Okay, uh, so back to to that. Okay so, So right around that time period, um, for what I understand, there was some more so challenges at home with your parents, their relationship and things of that nature that started to kind of take a toll on you. Is that correct?
Danna Gift:You know, i find it so fascinating that when I talk about my childhood, instinctually I block out the most Traumatizing things that happened And aka my dad cheating and probably still cheating to this day On my mom multiple times and catching him multiple times And my mom never leaving, which is which was interesting, because when they were together They did not seem like they would fight a lot, they were like a very happy couple. I remember some mornings I would watch my mom chase my dad around the counter and they're just like play, they're playful and fun. They would host these karaoke events, they would drive old people out to Vegas and it was just, it was cool, like watching them interact. But then my dad was also in the Navy.
Danna Gift:So when he would leave because he left All throughout the week and would come home on the weekends, maybe every other weekend, and he had a whole other life He had a whole girlfriend. He had like I think that girlfriend had a kid I there's just a lot of details that are not never. I never really learned about, but I did. I can still imagine her face because we found a cell phone in my dad's car And it had pictures of him and her all over it and he said that that was the cell phone He was gonna give me for my birthday, that it was like actually supposed to be a gift.
Danna Gift:So my dad was very good at I won't say very good at hiding it, but I mean he seemed happy at home. So I guess I was confused.
Dylan Warter:You think there's a potential that he wasn't sending that money to the Philippines?
Danna Gift:Oh, oh, i never thought of it like that.
Dylan Warter:I.
Danna Gift:That is just now that's a question that I would love to ask my dad. I don't know if he'd be honest with me, though, because even now, when my mom brings up how my dad has cheated or is a cheater, he kind of just brushes it off and Calls my mom like, says I'm a mom, my mom's acting up, and she kind of just does this like I don't. I don't know how to explain it. It's kind of like a Uh helpless look.
Dylan Warter:I'll say Okay yeah, i mean, if you think about he's gone for a week, two weeks at a time, come homes, comes home By a week in Lee And is sending all this money somewhere like Is there any confirmation of that? if he's operating like and running the finances, how is your mom even looking at that? There's arguing, like how accurate is your memory about what they're arguing about, where that money was being sent?
Danna Gift:Yeah, could very well be, and I mean my mom used to. She used to show me her secret stash because she always prepared a way out, like she planned on it for sure, or at least had an idea that she wanted to leave the relationship. But her excuse was always obviously me and my brother couldn't leave us until we were older, which that still never happened. But she would always take me into the room. She had this envelope of just stacks of cash And she was always like never give your everything to one person, always protect yourself. And she was always showing me how to, i guess, preserve myself in the case that I ended up with a man who is dishonest.
Danna Gift:And so I think that that kind of caused a trigger I don't want to say a trigger in me, but a personality trait that was developed in me to protect myself and actually go into that survival mode, which is why I can totally see why I was so masculine for the longest time And the whole didn't need no man. That was absolutely a thing Interesting. What was the rest of your relationship like with your mom?
Dylan Warter:And there's some like resentment there How she handled things.
Danna Gift:Yeah, there was definitely a resentment towards my mom, which sounds kind of silly and also kind of wrong to have resentment towards, from what I see, the victim. But the reason why I felt resentment towards her is because she never left And I didn't think she was strong enough to, because she talked about it a lot and never took any action And I think what I gathered I'm like well, he's literally hurting you all the time. My mom was suicidal. I've seen her like and I don't know if I can even say this or maybe I'll have to take it out, but for the sake of right now yeah, i've seen her like hold a knife up against her, her stomach here, and like was pushing against her stomach.
Danna Gift:She would wake us up in the middle of the night and say her goodbyes. Multiple times this has happened. I've seen her break plates on her head, fucking, just losing her shit because of my dad cheating. And after watching all of this and her still choosing not to leave, i started to get resentful of the fact that she wasn't strong enough to leave, and so I always told myself, above all else, i don't need love, i don't need anything, i'm just going to have my career and focus on what makes me happy And I won't rely on anyone else for that happiness And that's kind of that kind of just developed over the years.
Dylan Warter:Did you ever try to look at the perspective of? because there's, i understand the perspective you have makes sense. But from an outside perspective, if I'm looking at different ways to see it, i also see strength. I see the strength in her staying for you, for your brother. Now there's also the, that is a from a selfless point of view, right where it's like I'm going to endure this pain So that I can be there for them. But there's also the point of view of the only man she ever had loved or even been with.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, actually from my understand like intimately.
Danna Gift:And I mean I I definitely took some time to get there, but that was a realization I had just these past couple months. I'm 31 years old, so, yeah, i mean I had to sit deep And it's actually when I started to overcome my jealousy and things with you is when I dove into that perspective. So, maybe a few months now at this point like six, seven months Yeah, i definitely see the strength in how great of a fucking mom she was and like how much she put up with just to continue to be in our lives, moving from the Philippines, my dad being the only man person that she knew and was close to. I don't think she had a super solid support system. She had friends out here.
Danna Gift:You know as deep as friendships go at that age and, and you know, in that time era, i don't know if it's the same depth as our relationships now. So if I think of it on a scale of how my relationships used to be, when they were as connected and developed, there was definitely no one to turn to And so she, i'd feel like she didn't have that support system. And also back then, and probably very much still, my parents believe they like divorces not an option. It's actually a disgrace.
Dylan Warter:It seems like that can create a safe space for a man to cheat, though.
Danna Gift:Oh yeah, i mean, if you think about it back in the day, that's exactly what it was. Women were not allowed to voice their opinion and if they got divorced, even if the man cheated, it's the woman's fault. Something you should watch, guys, if you're watching Marvelous Miss Maisel, it's a good comedy show. She's a woman who's like up and coming in her comedy career And in the beginning it shows her husband cheats on her with his secretary and he ends up leaving her and literally the parents, her friends. Everything is like well, don't tell anybody, he's left you and you don't want to end up like the divorce person and they have like a corner for the divorce people. It was a disgrace if your husband left you. So even if the man was the cheater. So that's an opening to how the disconnect is for women and being empowered as a woman. There's a lot of. I mean, we just earned our right to vote 100 years ago. That's a long time for a character to develop and to have a growing up.
Danna Gift:About 100 years, i believe. Yeah, yeah, so there's a lot of things that come into being a woman, and even now that's a whole different fucking podcast which I can talk to you about, because I've read a lot about women rights, especially now, with the transgender trying to claim themselves as women again is taking away more women power And it's just giving power back to the biological man. I don't know. Anyways, this goes in deeper, yeah.
Dylan Warter:Okay, you know we had a conversation weeks or months back and we're talking about your father and you know this topic specifically, and I said you know, if you're going to blame him for all the bad, then make sure you also blame him for all the good. So I guess, when it comes to both your mom and your dad is, although seeing how she handled his behavior and the back and forth and then, but also seeing them, how they showed up on a daily basis and then the contrast of it all, is there anything that they, either individually or together, gave you that you are really grateful for?
Danna Gift:Oh gosh, everything, Everything. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them. I wouldn't be here in the States if it weren't for my dad taking initiative to bring my mom out here and have us.
Dylan Warter:I guess, more specifically, in the midst of that experience with the cheating and the seeing the relationship develop and Yeah, i think with my dad, i think overall just more of his personality trait.
Danna Gift:That was very much. I absorbed his personality, which was always happy, go lucky, dreamer, super social butterfly, and so there was a lot of his personality that I definitely see in me. There was a point where I was just closer to my dad because I felt like I related more to him. He was just always fine And you know, he did his best. But as far as the cheating, i don't know if I see any positive in that. I don't. I think that's something I would have to dive in deeper to send love to it. But I think the love that I have for my dad was more so in who he is as a person outside of him cheating.
Dylan Warter:Do you feel like, maybe because you saw the pain that he put your mother through, maybe what you took from that was a preference of who you didn't want to become?
Danna Gift:Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I think that that made me for sure not want to cheat or not want to hurt somebody in the way that I've seen my mom hurt And yeah, that just I think that that's carried throughout my relationships Really.
Dylan Warter:Do you feel like there's very specific things that you carried into those first few long term relationships that maybe made them very difficult or made them more complicated, or things that you just carried in that you weren't necessarily aware of that now you are aware of?
Danna Gift:Oh yeah, the trauma I definitely carried in, the jealousy, the paranoia of my dad. You know well the person I was dating cheating like. And then not only that, because I grew up in a very perversed place or area or whatever I'd say still fairly middle class, but you know there was a lot of ghetto stuff that happened Even then. Like, the men in that demographic are very mine, they're very controlling, they're damaged, right. When you're damaged you fight for control. And so when you're in a relationship with the man who grows up in a perversed area with no self awareness, no consciousness, it's like or they're not conscientious I always can never say that word They fight to control what they can, which they believe they control you as a woman.
Danna Gift:So they would not. I wouldn't be able to hug other guys. Actually, like hugging guy friends was so new to me until I was an adult Because when I would see people do it, even when they're in relationships, i'm like your man's cool with that. Like, oh, you guys are cool having opposite same sex friendships, like obviously to some degree. But you know, i'd never seen that before because all the men I dated were controlling. So that coupled with believing that all men cheat because my dad was my main example. I was hyper jealous, like I would freak out, hyperventilate, like it was not good, it was very destructive to my health, my mental.
Dylan Warter:Do you feel like that controlling element or trait within the men that you are dating originally? Is that more environmental? environmental because of the area that they grew up in or, more so, cultural conditioning from? From my understanding, a lot of Hispanic culture is very much that way as well. But I think there can definitely be some environmental in that too.
Danna Gift:I think it's both where, when I was growing up, i didn't have a type. It wasn't just Hispanic, it wasn't just white, it wasn't just black, like I've dated different races, different cultures, so I don't know if I would necessarily say that, but it depends on how they grew up, with their home as well, but definitely this conversation displays Right right.
Danna Gift:Definitely the environment plays a role, because we all were young damaged, not enlightened. I think a lot of people can relate to that honestly, and whether you grow up in a super wealthy part of town or a very poverty side of town, the fact of the matter is that generation didn't know how to communicate And didn't know how to allow their children to communicate. So it was either you're wealthy and you're telling your kids they're fucking lazy and they're not doing things right And that causes them to shut down, or you're pov-ish and pov-ish and you're telling your kids like there is a hole for you, there's no way out, like they just didn't know how to communicate things, they couldn't sort out their emotions, so how did we expect to?
Dylan Warter:I think also in that type of environment or upbringing the expression of love can be confusing or absent, and so that creates insecurities, which insecurities then create the desire for control. So I think that can definitely play a role. I think it played a role for me too. Yeah. It's interesting. So you carried that into those relationships. Did that with each relationship? Did it start to lessen? Did it kind of was it a roller coaster? How did that all play out, to bring you to the point you're at now?
Danna Gift:It was all an unconscious roller coaster.
Dylan Warter:Even through your marriage.
Danna Gift:Yes, absolutely. And it wasn't until this past year when I decided to do the real work with you, because I feel like you created a space enough to. Well, there's two things One, you created a safe space where I felt like I could explore that deeper seated injury, that I felt like you would stick around even if it got really dark. And then just you know from the way you handled some of our arguments. And then, two, also just reaching a point in my life where it's like I finally am recognizing a pattern that needed to be broken, and I'm confident enough to approach this with the tools that I have, you know, acquired over time that, even if you did leave, this was something I needed to explore for myself anyways. So, but until then, which was not that long ago, probably a year ago, maybe a year ago, about a year ago, yeah Well, when I started doing the deep, deep dive, probably about a year.
Danna Gift:That's when I started exploring that. But up until then I was married before you and I Absolutely had the jealousy things. I remember like we would have friends come over and If I saw like a friendly gesture I Would hold it inside, but when obviously when you're drinking it would come out during You know, partying and I'm like, oh like, are you guys hiding something? Is there something that I should actually be aware of, because I've had friends of mine Cheat with me up with my boyfriend at the time, so that I also have that as trauma as well. Fuck, i forgot about the landscapers.
Dylan Warter:It's okay, i shouldn't pick up.
Danna Gift:Might. So anyways, uh, for what was I saying?
Dylan Warter:I'm just going as far as carrying that through your marriage and then Starting to work on it by six months into our relationship. So, like the first six months of our relationship was more so becoming aware of those things, because before that it was very unconscious thing.
Danna Gift:Yeah, yeah, because before I, someone blamed my ex I mean I didn't blame him because it took me it took me two years to get over my ex-husband, even while I was in a relationship, i remember having sad feelings about my ex-husband that was the one before you and, yeah, i think I just didn't realize the Amount of, i guess, responsibility I had to play in that divorce. I thought it was him not Being romantic enough or not, you know, taking me out on dates, which all of that does play a role, obviously but there was a lot of things that I did that caused the trust to not allow growth in that relationship.
Dylan Warter:Do you feel like maybe from what you witnessed as a child and what you took in or took into those relationships, there was more of a Victim mindset of like, really kind of seeing it's like they're doing this, they're doing this, they're doing this, and that's why I feel this way, that's why I'm acting this way, and then, all of a sudden. Seeing it this way hasn't allowed it to change, so the only thing I can do is what I can control.
Danna Gift:Yeah, how that transitioned.
Danna Gift:I mean, i think on some degree, Even now where we're at in our personal development, we still kind of do that right to some degree. It's not as intense as it used to be, but I will say there are moments where it's like well, xyz happened, so that's why I'm reacting this way And that's definitely how I operated in that marriage. You know, i was like, oh, he never took me, took, takes me out on dates, and so now I don't feel pretty or I don't feel worthy and like I. What could have been done different is me learning how to be more comfortable and confident in my skin and learning how to treat and love myself, versus relying on someone to provide that love for me. So I think and and he was older than me, so It I feel like had he done some other Character development which he hated any help didn't like self-help, didn't like What is it?
Danna Gift:Therapists I remember when I suggested a couple couples therapy, he fucking lost his shit. I think if he had had that maybe he could have helped me. You know, guide myself along the way, but without any consciousness of both of our ends. There was no way I was gonna see that side of me. So instead I took it as a as a fuck you, i will Figure it out how to make myself feel pretty and sexy, and in that way I guess I did kind of teeter on the side of entertaining other men and What.
Danna Gift:I would flirt, i would you know, like I was a flight attendant while we were married and so I would go out to these bars by myself and Just flirt. I'm like Never took anybody back, thank God, because I could have been, first of all, gross, second of all, not not my character I definitely would have regretted it. but yeah, i mean, i teetered on it, would exchange numbers and then, you know, completely block them after and like just you know dumb shit that I'm just like.
Dylan Warter:Hit a validation because you weren't receiving it from yeah, absolutely.
Danna Gift:I think you even, to some degree, might know what I'm talking about. Yeah, very much, take the mic.
Dylan Warter:I did something very Similar, you know, as a police officer in uniform with, you know, women approaching me.
Danna Gift:Oh my god, that's kind of the same like being a flight attendant when I was in.
Dylan Warter:Officer, you want to have sex with the attendant 100%. So that's why having people throw themselves at us all the time. Yeah, and we were in a relationship, at least for the last couple years of it, where we didn't feel wanted and desired and yeah so I Would totally make sense because we have an understanding of each other in some of those ways and what we would each other need, where we're able to Maintain certain elements of our relationship because we know that it's required in a way.
Danna Gift:Mmm, that's why we're so well. I feel like it's also our personality traits to just be loving the way that we are. But we also, i think we spend extra time To let each other know that we love and care and cherish and think each other are sexy or you know, we flirt a lot, we yeah, there's like words of affirmation There's, but slaps.
Danna Gift:I think you're. You're getting really far down the butt slap routine. It's like you're greeting now. He doesn't just hug me, it's hug Or like when he's walking by, but it's Really every minute. Now I'm like okay. Hey, i'll stop, even when I was going in for my first was it yesterday, when I was going into zinc. Okay, he comes up and the first thing he does is put his hand on my butt.
Dylan Warter:It was on your side. It was on your side.
Danna Gift:I think you stop, i may have had like a finger cheek.
Dylan Warter:But yeah, I mean that I think We have lots of sex. Yeah.
Dylan Warter:I'll back for the sake of like testosterone and hormone and stuff and like a little bit more yeah, I'm told about. But I Think all of that is like, in a way, it's like and it's. It's not just Sex, we're connecting. Yeah deeply and like it's an expression of love and desire for each other and things of that nature I think is really important, and I think we both bet on relationships where that was Lacking or almost non-existent Yeah, to a level under where I.
Dylan Warter:Like. I never want you to feel like. I know what it feels like to not feel wanted and I never want you to feel that way. Yeah, i feel the same, Yeah, so it's powerful, but without Knowing what something feels like in that way, you can't understand enough to make sure that you provide it at that level.
Danna Gift:Oh yeah.
Dylan Warter:Or maybe you can, but I think that it serves us in a way, in a way so.
Danna Gift:I don't think I don't. You mean you can't, you don't know what. You don't know It's as simple as that. It's not in your spectrum.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, so, okay. So we've kind of gone all the way to presently kind of skip through the, you know, some of the other stuff that took place during your marriage, which was the, or maybe at the end of it, and as You were coping with it was the Fitness right.
Dylan Warter:So you're also doing that well, being a flight attendant and going through a divorce. So take us through a bit of that experience, like in a way that for anybody who either is going through a divorce Is doing fitness competition or maybe recovering from a fitness competition or considering doing it And that may be even flight attendants who are in relationships right There's probably a lot of value there that you can provide as far as your experience, how you navigate it Probably a lot of maybe mistakes you even made.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, in that that Maybe you could help somebody prevent them doing it or just help them navigate through what they're experiencing.
Danna Gift:So there's a lot of that in that question, a lot of I mean. Honestly, if I were to really deep dive into all of it Would probably take quite some time.
Dylan Warter:You can do a whole other episode just on that, but Oh yeah maybe some big golden nuggets maybe.
Danna Gift:So I think my and even when, when you just said it, i was a flight attendant, i was going through a divorce, i was going in a fitness competition, which means, one, i was losing a lot of sleep to my diet was slim to none. And then, three, i was going through emotional stress. I was under a lot of stress and I continued to pack things onto my schedule. So I think My huge takeaway from that experience and looking back at it now is Slow the fuck down like Genuinely, take time to heal and understand your emotions. Because what I was doing Was I was on hyperactive mode, i was on edge every fucking minute of every day. It fucked up my gut health, i mean. Granted, okay, things in my external world were changing through brute force, right, because I was forcing myself into this competition. I won, which felt like a win, but internally I was destructive. I was drinking, i was fucked up in the head like I wasn't okay, and All of that was because I needed to distract myself and The fitness was a distraction. The going into the competition was a distraction, the flights leaving. I left to be a flight attendant because I wanted to get out of that relationship and I just didn't know how and I just overloaded myself too much, and so I think it really postponed my personal development Mentally, which I think is the most important thing, and then obviously your physical as well. But I think it postponed a lot of that development because I was never able to quiet my mind and actually hear what it is that my soul wanted, not what my mind thought I should do. And So I think that's one of my biggest things is, when you are going through something stressful and heavy mentally, physically, take time to rest. Take time to actually hear what your body and your soul needs, because It's gonna speak to you and it's gonna come out in some way or another and it could be destructive or it could be beautiful, and I think I went the destructive route.
Danna Gift:As far as the divorce Huh, i mean, i dealt with it through putting myself through more pain. It was just fucked up in its own way. I I thought I deserved it. I thought that I I don't know like the pain was comforting to me on some degree. I Actually enjoyed putting my body through the physical pain, so I didn't have to deal with the emotional, and So that's probably why I started my fitness competition, one to prove to myself that I could do something outside of that relationship, because I felt like I put everything into that relationship. And then two, it was. It was just a way for me to Feel like something better could happen in my life because it was dark. I was dark and I went on a lot of dates during that time to try and get over that divorce and I then were satisfying because I wasn't satisfied with myself. So, yeah, it was just it was.
Danna Gift:It was painful and divorces are painful as much as like People. I know some people get it, go through the divorce and they're like, oh my god, thank God, you know, but it wasn't that case. For me, it was a painful divorce because it was. It was amicable. We both decided that we just couldn't figure it out. There was no cheating. There was no like defining moment where it was like we're so fucked up to each other like We genuinely tried. For like a year after we got the divorce, i don't think I realized that how similar our journeys were.
Dylan Warter:Just mine was like longer in a way, but Ended very similar.
Danna Gift:Yeah, and then it almost makes it more painful Because I feel like I feel like I would have been able to move on faster if he cheated if there was a Or if there was a defining moment, but because there wasn't, it was so long and dragged out and Even when I was like trying to date, it was like my heart and mind was still connected to this man and the failed image of our marriage.
Dylan Warter:It's interesting because I guess for on the other side, for me It was like we really tried everything and so it was like there was peace that was there.
Dylan Warter:Yeah there was peace and love and appreciation for each other. Like we, we did it. We fell out of love through, you know, resentment and all these things that took place, but still had love for each other and appreciation as like a huge part of each other's life. Where, because we didn't do anything bad to each other, that would create the opposite of love Hate. Where you don't want to, so in a way, i guess it's you guys never get in any like Intense fights where you like.
Danna Gift:Destroy each other. I.
Dylan Warter:Mean there was maybe two, three arguments throughout our entire relationship and All three of them happened happened after my partner was killed and I was Becoming alcoholic. so it'd be like, on the way home from somewhere, i was drunk, i get triggered on something and I got out of the car and fucking walk six miles home by myself or walk to my Office and sleep on the couch.
Danna Gift:Hmm, that makes sense. So he's trying to jump out of moving first. Yeah that's. I can't say the same we were. We, we said a lot of things that you cannot take back in a relationship.
Dylan Warter:I think the so because it was during our relationship. Not none of nothing happened that really hurt each other. But once we split and I went to Barcelona and she learned about what was developing there, that's the first time that she was hurt and. Lashed out and was like Wanted me to feel what she felt and so that's where things were expressed From her standpoint that were like like seeing a whole different side of her that I'd never seen for six, seven years.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, because I never hurt her or she never felt hurt because of my behavior, right? I think that was just like it actually settled, setting in like what was actually taking place after so long, you know that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I think overall obviously the amicably splitting ways And it was fairly similar, but obviously the the actual Journeys were different.
Danna Gift:Yeah, yeah, for sure, i mean we were engaged.
Dylan Warter:Right Yeah, That was the whole thing and then I think Throughout the last two years of that, it was like I think we both knew. Yeah that was like there was no wedding, that was coming, yeah right, it was just like. There was no planning. Talk like, talked about it after the first like Eight months of engagement, because Is it five, six months later is when Meltos killed? yeah, right after the engagement.
Danna Gift:Yeah, for sure, yeah, that's so.
Dylan Warter:anyways, now something I did want to ask you is You felt doubt when you said yes?
Danna Gift:Yeah, yeah, and you and you went through the anyways.
Dylan Warter:Do you feel like there's any part of your Upbringing and what you saw how your mom operated That could have played a role and you just trying to stick it out Like how long did you know? was it from the beginning, or was it you know two years in that you knew but just didn't have any idea on how to get out?
Danna Gift:Okay. So we he proposed a year of being together within a year or on our year anniversary actually, and right before that, i think, like maybe a couple days before that, we had a pretty big fight. That was not like an anger-infused fight, it was a saddened fight because of our desires in the future. So, meaning to say he had completely different dreams, i had completely different dreams, and they didn't line up. They actually were so far off. I have big dreams, i still have big dreams, and he had very, you know, let's go to New York and get like a small house and just, you know, get by and just live a peaceful life, which was nothing wrong with that. It's just not what I wanted, especially not at that age either. I'm like I have so much energy I could fucking, i could run a lap around the world and still keep going Like. So we had a huge fight in, you know, wanting to match up our futures or our desires, but it wasn't matching up. And so I remember having a moment where we talked about actually ending it because our differences were too much, and I remember crying.
Danna Gift:I remember listening to this Megan Trainor was one of the songs. It was like almost is never enough, i believe. Was it Megan Trainor? I think it was, but it's the. It was basically saying almost is never enough, and it was like I remember playing that song on repeat because I'm like, fuck, it's not, like we're not going to make it, and so I don't even know what happened. The next day We somehow recovered from it And it was like it never happened And like days or maybe a week later there was a proposal. He was on his knee.
Danna Gift:And I'm like what the fuck is happening? I remember I was slightly intoxicated, slightly. I mean, i was probably pretty intoxicated And when he proposed, you know, it's an emotional moment And I was emotionally charged and I had alcohol in my system. So immediately I was like yeah, but there was a moment that I felt like I just I knew I shouldn't have said yes. But by the time I said yes I was like there's no way I'm taking this back, i can't, and so I just never left And I ended up getting married, doing the whole courthouse thing.
Dylan Warter:So that's that that pose is a really good question, because you, you decided you can't take this back, and that decision took you on a journey. You, you were at a fork in the road and it was either go this way and stick with what you said, keeping your word, which is on a roll, on a roll in a way or this other route. Is there any regret there? Or, if not, what did that give you that serves you today?
Danna Gift:No regrets. I think everything is divinely timed now that I'm where I'm at in my mental development And I learned a lot of things since then. I learned one self worth and being able to stick to what you actually believe feels right in your gut, like saying no. I learned how to say no, i didn't, i wouldn't. I didn't know at that time that I stuck to the path because I said yes And I was like, okay, i'm going to stick to this path, knowing that now, like having more increased self worth, i would have backed out, i would have said no, but I learned that lesson through saying yes.
Danna Gift:I was able to be a flight attendant. I went all around the fucking world. I got to go see my parents off on my flight attendant benefits. I hadn't seen my dad in 10 years I got to. There was just so many things. I gained one of my best friends and we're not friends anymore, but at the time I needed her and it was very beneficial for me. I needed that friendship, i needed that relationship And vice versa, and vice versa, we needed each other. There's just so many different things like I got to explore and see and learn about myself. I was challenged in ways. That would have never happened if I didn't say yes to that marriage.
Dylan Warter:What do you feel is the best part of that relationship? If you look back and like that was, that was great, like that part of it that like you, like, take with you, are the good, the best thing you remember of it.
Danna Gift:That's a good question.
Danna Gift:The best thing you remember from it, i think, two things.
Danna Gift:One, which is kind of a weird answer It actually he actually helped me open up my eyes to how corrupt the world is and the government, because he was in the military and I saw a lot of the structures and things that weren't right for humans And he caused me to question a lot of things, which is why I voted for Trump, which is why, like that whole thing, like I started diving into how fucked up the government is And without him being such a rebel, i wouldn't I wouldn't, probably wouldn't have questioned it, and so that actually helped me to open up my eyes on that side of the world.
Danna Gift:And then the other side I feel like I actually learned a lot of peace in some of the simple things in life, because I'd always been reaching for these big giant dreams and very monetized, like everything was monetarily valued. And I think when I remember a memory of going back to New York with him and and just being in this house with a big yard and we would catch crickets and throw it into the lake and it was just fun and peaceful and quiet and it didn't require money, it didn't require anything fancy. I was literally just. It was just me in nature, and I think that he in some ways taught me the beauty and simplicity of life sometimes.
Dylan Warter:That's cool. So in a way, put a crack in the programming and your programming. Yeah. That and it's in its own way. As you started to explore, started to crack more and more and really break it all down and like over the years and broke it down with. That was the kind of that first crack. Yeah, and the foundation. Yeah, it was like something that splintered into more, into more 100%, and then contentment, and like simple things in life in a way.
Danna Gift:Yeah.
Dylan Warter:Kind of maybe your first taste of that, where now you can remember that and be like oh yeah, like life can be good with very little as well.
Danna Gift:Yeah.
Dylan Warter:That's cool, so things to be grateful for. From that, i mean, it seems like there's a lot.
Danna Gift:There's a lot more, I'm sure.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, for sure You know, gone on this wild ride. Now you've, you've gotten through the divorce and you are, you moved during this correct.
Danna Gift:I was in Chicago and he was in Tucson.
Dylan Warter:Okay, so when did you move to Arizona or back to?
Danna Gift:Arizona, about three years ago. That was about a year and a half after my divorce.
Dylan Warter:Okay, so around like beginning of 2020. So right on the same time I moved to Arizona. I think like 2019.
Danna Gift:Okay Yeah.
Dylan Warter:End of 2019.
Danna Gift:Just about Okay.
Dylan Warter:Okay, and so you move here. You're still flight attendant.
Danna Gift:Was still flight attendant.
Dylan Warter:Okay, it brings through that transition, because then you leave being a flight attendant after two years, right.
Danna Gift:Yeah, yeah. So I was in Chicago for two years being a flight attendant. I was at the tail end of my divorce and I was trying to figure out where I wanted to live, because I had saved up enough money to purchase a home by house. And so I was like, okay, cool, i want to buy a house. I know it's a good investment. I wanted it to be my first investment property And I was looking at two places.
Danna Gift:I was looking at Charleston, which is where my ex lived, because I thought maybe we could make it work Fucking idiot. And then the other option was Phoenix, because I went to college in Tucson and I remember liking Phoenix a lot and I knew a realtor out here. So obviously I had a layover out here and I was like, okay, i'm going to explore Phoenix. And it explored on a more, like more deeply, because I had come up here occasionally from Tucson just to check it out, but like maybe an hour to two hours max. So came out here, got to see all the cool sights and things and really had to like sit with myself and figure out what the fuck am I actually doing? Like am I really going to move to Charleston and be 45 minutes away from my ex so that I can visit him when he's not like we're going through a divorce. What the fuck were you thinking? So I chose Phoenix.
Danna Gift:I chose Phoenix, and I was still a flight attendant at the time, yes, and I was hoping that I was going to get a transfer from Chicago to Phoenix. I closed on the house and literally a day after, we got an email saying that they're no longer taking any. There's no more open spots for flight attendants at the Phoenix base, and it was unforeseeable, because this was one of the biggest American Airlines bases and seniority has taken up Phoenix. So I'm like, holy fuck, i just bought a house. I have to commute.
Danna Gift:So the way flight attendants work is you have your home base and you always have to start and end your trips at this home base. So what my life would look like if I had stayed a flight attendant is I would come to Phoenix for what? two, three days? go out to Chicago, then start my three day trip and then go back to Chicago and then come back here to live for three days, whatever, if I can fix my schedule over and over and again. So you want to talk about a long commute. That was a long fucking commute because yeah, well because, yeah, we would even have to drive my car.
Danna Gift:Park it at the parking spot out here. Take the trolley to the train. Take the train to Chicago. Chicago, go, fly my three day trip. Go back to Chicago. Take the trolley back. It was like this whole fucking mess.
Dylan Warter:So some people drive like 45 minutes an hour for work.
Both:I took like a whole day, you're in LA Yeah but I took a whole day.
Danna Gift:And not only that, because Phoenix is such a busy hub and we fly standby, sometimes I couldn't get in the same day, like I would be stuck at the airport for six hours before I could even get. like I'd have to plan a whole day ahead of my three day trip to get there. Anyways, that's a whole thing. So, basically, that fucking sucked. hearing that news. I even recorded like a video somewhere somewhere in my computer about how like fucked up there was, but also, in its own way, very divine, because I sat with myself and I was like, okay, do I actually want to be a flight attendant much longer? Am I happy being a flight attendant And am I willing to make this cameo every fucking month?
Danna Gift:for the foreseeable future, for the foreseeable future, with no end in mind. So what I did and American Airlines don't hate me for this is I had never used the sick day in all the two years. Never used the sick day And I use the fuck out of it the last couple of trips. So the way the trips work is you have like you get your whole month schedule and you have like maybe a trip here, a trip here, but you can like pick up other people's trips and basically make it so that you're working two weeks straight and then two weeks off And basically whenever a trip started I'd call in sick. That would end the whole sequence and then a call in sick again, but it only took up like so many sick days. So I did that for probably three months on sick leave. Yeah, i arranged it so perfectly, but yeah, it was paid sick leave. So I was getting paid while I was like establishing my life here in Phoenix and I was pursuing becoming a real estate agent during that time.
Dylan Warter:While you were finishing up those those three months right, because I needed something.
Danna Gift:And I knew I wasn't going to go back to the workforce. There's no fucking way. So I what? I started to study for my real estate And I was relentless fucking studying. I took that real estate test 20 times and failed 20 20, 20. How do they allow you to?
Dylan Warter:take it that many times You can. Well, so there's, there is a how long is this test that you took 20 times. It's like 150 questions and I thought you take it every day for 20 days until you figure out.
Danna Gift:I took it like every every like weekend. I took like two tests every weekend. So what you have to do to get your real estate licenses, you have to first pass a school test and then they allow you to take the state test. So the school test is not charged, thank God, because now they charge every time you fail. Well, before I they didn't. So I took the test over and over, and over and over And I was fucking. I went through a deep depression like not being able to figure it out. I'm like I have nowhere else to go, no other job options, like I would literally spend my entire day just fucking studying over and over and over and over And I wasn't getting it. And so that just shows how fucking stubborn I am, because I took it 20 times.
Dylan Warter:Perspective here or resilient resilient, very resilient driven, dedicated, ambitious.
Danna Gift:You do a lot when your back is when you're backed up against the corner. And so, yeah, i took the test 20 times, finally passed. I was two points away from failing again.
Dylan Warter:Oh my God, i like my first. I applied for 25 plus police departments at first, got rejected from all of them beforehand.
Danna Gift:So we have such synchronicities. That's why we're together. So, yeah, i took it 20 times And then, when I first, when I took the state test for the first time, i fucking passed And that was the one that actually mattered, because it would. I would have to pay, i think, like 100 bucks to retake it. So I was like God And yeah, i walked away with my real estate license that day And I was happy about that and didn't real estate for two years.
Dylan Warter:How was that experience? Because you went from flight attendant, which is like it's not as masculine as as real estate, because there's not as much action that you have to like, push yourself to do. It's like, you know, with flight attendant, you have a schedule and you just have to show up. You got to do your job and then go home. Whereas real estate it's, and also you're around more women and as a flight attendant, whereas in real estate you're in an even more masculine environment, right?
Danna Gift:Yeah, real estate was my heavy masculine boss babe fucking era I completely went into I don't even know how to explain it I was a fucking rabid dog. I'm just kidding, i was a horrible way to explain it, but I was. I was intense. I mean I it's all I cared about, it's all I wanted to do is make more money and more money. I was, i was flexing my peacock feathers with how much money I was making And I'm like I remember when my flight attendant friends would hit me up and they're like Oh you know, how are you doing? I'm like I'm a six figure earner, bitches. I'm like I'm not flying anymore, like I was. I was, i was a man And it also affected my dating because I would not settle for anyone who was making less than me. That was for sure. Like because I wanted a man man.
Danna Gift:And I'm like there's no way I'm going to date someone who, who was at least bringing the same amount of income as me, so that, and I really was just so independent. I got my own like loft on the lake And it was my favorite place still to this day. And, yeah, i was just fucking. I was. I felt like a badass after going through a divorce, after losing one of my longer friendships, after like just everything that I'd gone through. Real estate was like my I think I figured it out, kind of thing.
Dylan Warter:Okay, so during that time you got into another relationship for a year. Yeah, from what it seems like may have been prematurely.
Danna Gift:Yeah.
Dylan Warter:And then also was only doing real estate for a couple years, right, yep.
Danna Gift:We. He was my, he was my realtor actually, and kind of got me into it And on some level I mean I always wanted to because my dad was in real estate after he left the Navy Not successful with it but see, here and over there And yeah, so we ran our own. It was like a two man team And we fucking were making deals like no other. We're slaying in it. And definitely was a premature relationship, i think, because I went on so many dates that were absolutely horrid. I ended up with this man who I actually knew him before, like we were friends before I was married, before I even like we were friends for a very long time And so it was comfortable, it felt safe And it felt like that was as good as it was going to get, because after dating so many men, i was like, yeah, you know you just kind of get tired of it.
Danna Gift:I was so sick and tired of dating And I found a guy who I trusted genuinely as a friend And I was like, okay, let's like explore this. And so I ended up in that relationship And obviously it didn't work out because it was. You know what's funny, though I didn't think it was premature. When I got into the relationship We were already almost we were split already for almost two years And the divorce finalized while I was in that relationship. And when the divorce finalized and I got the call, i was in Chicago and then it reopened up the wound of my failed marriage And then it felt like it was premature. I remember calling my friend. I'm like I shouldn't be fucking hurting like this, but I just got the finalized paperwork, we're officially divorced and this hurts way more. Like even now I'm not even sad about it, but I think it just re recover like brings up the pain I felt at that moment. I felt like helpless.
Dylan Warter:I feel like that's understandable though. Yeah like. I mean wounds, even if you are over that person right. The there's loss of all, there's the perception of failure, which you've used that word before, even though you know that you shouldn't have said yes in the first place.
Dylan Warter:But you then went on a pursuit to make it work and put a lot of energy into it and time, and so there can even be grief of the time and the energy that's put into it, for it to then be perceived as wasted, which I think it just kind of us deep in our ego, Because I think when we separate ourselves from that, we're like no, we know that very much was this, you know, very divine and gave us so much, like you already said even during this conversation.
Danna Gift:So but I think it. I think it also really plays into the idea of our bodies don't actually recognize time, right, like I could know very consciously that obviously that relationship wasn't going to work And it, and even to this day, like when I think about how I felt that pain, it's not because I miss him. It's like my body recalls that memory as if it's present. So I don't know if you guys have ever like watched yourself, if you ever recorded yourself crying and you watch yourself cry, you feel it again.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, well, with with painful memories, right, the attaches the emotion to it. So when you do recall, the emotion comes with it. Mm, hmm. Right until you separate it, which is a part of the actual healing process.
Danna Gift:Right, and I mean, yeah, our bodies, just when we, when we've associated a memory with it, that's it sticks, yeah.
Danna Gift:But, yeah, i mean, that was a that was a painful time in my life. And then I was like really starting to think about my ex husband. While I was in this relationship, i would hear love songs And while he was talking about how he wants, you know, to me to be that person who, like, we're singing love songs to each other, i was thinking about my ex husband And like, like there's something severely wrong with me And I was upset that I was even thinking it because I was emotionally in my head cheating. And then also randomly, my ex finally did. He did hit me up because there had been months like almost a year actually, where he didn't message me back or anything And I was like, okay, we're officially done. Then he hits me up while I was on a date with my ex man And I remember going to the bathroom and like hearing the voice mail And he was like, hey, i saw online that you are now a sponsored athlete And often nutrition, and often nutrition, because I finally got my dream I talked about it for a long time being a sponsored athlete.
Danna Gift:And so he said he because he was looking himself up, because he does photography for the military, and I popped up because I still have his last name, or still, i kept his last name. Holy fuck, i forgot that detail. I literally kept his last name because I didn't want to get rid of that memory. I was so attached to this marriage And I was like there's no part of me that wants to erase it, and so I kept his last name. And so when my name went on the roster as a sponsored athlete, my hit. His last name popped up and he found me And so he called me and just wanted to congratulate me. But obviously that opened a whole other door.
Dylan Warter:Do you feel like that was, there was any male intent in that and him calling you and trying to like keep a hook in you? Or do you feel like it was very genuine, Like because they know you were in a relationship? do you know anything about where you were at in life? Or was it just this, like I'm gonna call him and congratulate her?
Danna Gift:I don't think there was any male intent. I don't think he knew I was in a relationship. I don't know. Maybe he checked my Instagram or something, but I don't think he did. It didn't feel Like it was Intended for us to work out. I think he genuinely just Wanted to congratulate me because he knew that that was something that I'd been working on. But I will say, because it did open the door, we did start talking and there was a night actually, where I was like parked outside of the house And I was still on the phone with him and my ex, who I was dating at the time, came out and heard me talking to him. So I was like kind of, in a way, cheating and Yeah, it was, and I was angry at him for intruding on my space. That's insane. I was, you know, yeah, i just I don't know, so leave me.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, so was that the beginning of the end of that relationship?
Danna Gift:Mm-hmm. Oh yes, because that night I had to talk to the guy was dating at that time and we had a deep conversation about what I wanted and He basically gave me an ultimatum and said you know, if I want to talk to my ex, then that can be pursued, but then that means like we have to end our relationship and Me just trying to do what felt right, which at the time now I think about it I ultimately didn't want to be with anyone, but I chose him my, my ex, not my ex husband Because I knew that that was something that like I'm like I'm not opening that door again.
Dylan Warter:So God, and so that relationship ended, and did you stay? how long do you stay in real estate after that?
Danna Gift:Maybe a year.
Dylan Warter:So a year of being real estate, but I'm completely done with your ex.
Danna Gift:Yeah, my ex boyfriend.
Dylan Warter:Yeah.
Danna Gift:Yeah, and I wasn't like heavy in real estate because at that point I had I had established a nest egg. So that was when I was like, okay, i'm splitting up from this relationship, i'm doing what feels right for me. I actually I was living with my best friend at the time and I had her like move with me Everywhere. But when I split up, i said that I was doing this for me, so I got my own place. That's when I got that loft on the leg and like I was like I need to do something for me and Be selfish for a minute because I'd given everything to everyone. And so I, yeah, i basically broke up with my best friend, at least living with her. I Left that relationship. I was kind of dabbling in real estate with previous clients and like friends and family, but I wasn't heavily seeking clients anymore and I took the year off to Explore other options and like I really just wanted to play video games and stream on Twitch and create content. Like that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to make videos.
Danna Gift:What you did, which I did, yeah, on and off God, that's a whole fucking journey. Yeah, like Basically knowing and your soul like what you actually fucking want, but then ignoring it for so many years because it didn't seem logical And And it also wasn't when I say it wasn't supported in your marriage or in most of your relationships.
Dylan Warter:As far as the content creation right, No, no, not at all.
Danna Gift:Well, when I was married I don't know if that that passion really came up as much I Feel like suppressed, or was it just?
Dylan Warter:you were on a path of further Discovery, self-discovery. I.
Danna Gift:Think it was both. I think I gave so much. I my whole life was this man Like I wanted his dreams to be sought out. I was willing to move wherever he wanted to go. I actually didn't really care what I did. I was like, okay, you want to go to Syracuse and like, do this program? Okay, then I'll go and I'll find a job out there. And I was so flexible with what I actually wanted and I had put into my mind that the dreams I had was outlandish and because I chose to marry this man who doesn't want that, then I better figure out the alternative.
Dylan Warter:Why were you are? do you feel like you're so willing to give up your dreams for his?
Danna Gift:Hmm, i think Even though I did not like this from my mom She gave up her dreams to marry my dad Like he actually went up to her because my mom was this beautiful singer. She had an opportunity to travel the world and, like become a singer, which is what she wanted to do. But when my dad came back to marry Her, my dad gave my mom an ultimatum, said either you marry me and we started family, we moved to states, or you can continue your singing career. And My mom was like, well, i guess I'll marry you and go to the States. But she always Resented him for it. She was always like your dad, never let me pursue my dreams. And da-da-da And I think on a very subconscious level, i was reliving the same life that my mom had created. Oh My god, sorry, that was just like a Realization. My dad was military too.
Danna Gift:So, was my mom or my ex-husband Wow, and I was willing to do and be the sacrifice that I despised, and my mom from subconscious programming. That's insane.
Dylan Warter:And in that fear of reliving that has come up in our relationship. Hmm, absolutely quite a bit even, even if I am super supportive and literally was trying to Support us so that you could just pursue it. Yeah it's still like any even ounce of that reality coming back in. There's a lot of resistance there.
Danna Gift:I think it's because it's a big fear. Yeah, like I don't ever want to feel, like I have to choose between my love and passion for Somebody else, because it's not your dream, it's mine, and I'm like, at the end of the day, if I sacrifice that, then I sacrifice myself, and if I don't have myself, what do I have to give?
Dylan Warter:Yeah, i think that's like Also where we were when we first started dating. We were very open and honest about what we wanted and there was so much alignment I couldn't ignore it.
Danna Gift:Yeah, I was actually surprised.
Dylan Warter:Yeah.
Danna Gift:I remember like I thought you were gonna be a hippie. I Was like he's gonna want to just be a van traveler and he doesn't even want a big house because I wanted a big. So when we went on our first date or when you came over Don't judge me Yeah, I was actually pleasantly surprised to know that what your Desire was for the future fucking giant dreams, Yeah, I'm like oh.
Dylan Warter:Like the dreams. I'm like I'm actually going to do this. Yeah, this is what my plan is, and this is what's actually gonna happen. Yeah, I'm curious. Oh, i'm actually trying to do the same exact things boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, oh damn.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, it was cool and Coming from my past relationships, recognizing when there was no alignment, i was like, okay, we have some alignment that's interesting because I In my last relationship, it wasn't necessary that there was Full alignment in dreams, there was just full support and not a conflict in them. So right, so there was that and but I will say that Pretty much everybody close to me Gabby, joey, those like really close were saying that like That relationship is weighing you down, like there's there's a not a match in Where you're actually going.
Danna Gift:Mmm.
Dylan Warter:Oh, interesting Yeah and so that was like the first thing that Gabby said to me. It was like you found your, your match and where you're going.
Danna Gift:Oh Got chills.
Dylan Warter:But back to you, making sure that this is just all about you, because I want everybody to like actually get to know the Incredible human being that I know, and I've even gotten to learn some new stuff from you. And This, you know, it's giving me the opportunity to ask you some questions that I Guess, in a different setting, i would I haven't thought of yet so.
Danna Gift:I'm enjoying it. I enjoy our conversation, when, when you chime in.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, i'm just you know. So I, i guess I mean I feel like there's a lot that we can still cover, or at an hour and a half, i Feel like, instead of going down and tired all around our relationship and dating and things of that nature. So I think that could add on another hour and a half, that could be a whole another episode.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, i think we could do a full episode just as far as, like, our dating experience, but I think should, yeah, i think, and maybe even have somebody else and every was oh yeah, that'd be cool, i think.
Dylan Warter:what I'd love to end this on and over the next whether that's 10 minutes or 20, 30 minutes is Really Some things about you that Like really you not maybe like your past or things of that nature.
Dylan Warter:like, i think, something we didn't, we didn't touch on as far as your Past, as you've had a camera in your hand since you were a kid, right, so maybe maybe you could touch on some stuff around that, because I think that kind of shows like listen, this isn't some Fucking thing that you're just like obsessed with right now. It's this in a phase, this has been, this is a purpose, this is a path, this is something you signed up to, come here to do in some way, and, yes, you've gone on all these different detours throughout your life, but, like, it is exceedingly obvious that You are meant to create content and entertain in some way, and that is how you Express yourself and bring your light to the world, right? So I guess I'm now I'm telling everybody instead of you, but I just I think that there's some parts of you and like your heart, and like really just Who you are at your core and what you want to bring to the world, that I believe others deserve to hear straight from you. Well.
Danna Gift:When it comes to feeling my purpose and My purpose being grounded in entertainment, i feel like each one of us has a, a Harmony, if you will, that speaks to our souls, that matches our, our vibration, our heart. And I think I knew mine because when I was a kid, i Was always standing on top of the tables. I was like trying to perform. I had a fake camera and I would like take pictures of things, and I had a video camera And I made video vlogs and I would. I would record and do voiceovers for my dogs. I and created I created a whole movie with my dogs, by the way, and It was like their life and I narrated their life for them. It was wild.
Dylan Warter:Is this on VHS somewhere?
Danna Gift:I just can't find the tapes. I gotta ask my parents if they have it. But I have a lot of like video vlogs and stuff and When I look back at it I even found this old picture of my dad where I'm like standing on a chair and we're looking through this video camera That's on a stand and it's like it's a very like whole, like heartfelt, like holy shit. I've actually been interested in this since I was like three, like a baby, and I think each one of us has. If we really really deep dive into Who we were as children and how we played as children, we can actually really rediscover what our souls harmony is, and. But that takes a lot of work, right, because we leave it. We leave it for logic, we leave it for safety, we leave it for security. But if we can find a way to be comfortable with those things and Can rediscover our playfulness as children, i think we can rediscover our harmony and I think that's what has happened over the years.
Danna Gift:I fucking went 20, 50 thousand different directions and It wasn't until I felt more self-worth To that I was willing to accept my harmony, because my harmony didn't feel a lot logical like starting a YouTube video. I wanted to start a YouTube video channel Yeah, youtube channel. Since YouTube first came out, like I wanted to leave college. I wanted to just make videos. But logically, my business mind was like, well, that's not gonna make me any money or the chances or the odds of me actually being successful in this field is slim to none. So I went the logical route and so It's easy to get straight from that, because there's a lot of other things in our physical world, there are external world that needs to be satisfied for us to be able to listen to what we actually want internally. So I took a very long route, but I Think what I'm so happy about now, even with the journey that I took side so those moments where I'm like, fuck, i fucking went and wasted 10 years when I could have been doing this 10 years ago. But I think what I'm happy about is the amount of of tools and education and experiences in life that I got to experience within those 10 years and Now I feel like I'm coming back at my passions and more, more in harmony and more in sync, on a Stronger vibration and stronger level than I ever used to be. I'm fired up, i fucking, because now. I've tried everything. There is no other way. There is no other questioning or doubt of like, oh Yeah, i could probably do this. No, you fucking did that surprise. It didn't fucking work out because you don't care about it. That's just the truth. And so now I'm like full set on my passions, full set on that, and I'm super Excited to be able to encourage people to do the same.
Danna Gift:I think a Lot with my messaging and if you go through my stuff, it's very like positive in mindset, but it's also very raw and real, because this process, our fucking experience here in life, is not all Rainbows and butterflies, like we can kid around and act, like we're always a hundred percent on point and on on our game. But I Mean, i stumbled eighty percent of the way and the twenty percent I was on full-spread like. But I just I guess I want people to really Feel where I'm coming from and just understand that like life will get its hands on you, but it's up to you to decide if that's gonna continue to bring you in the opposite direction Of your harmony or will you go towards your harmony. And we make that decision every day through our actions, through our habits. I think I Yeah, i just want people to fucking fall in love with themselves again. I feel like there has been Who even think about it. I'm like there's so many times I didn't love myself And I didn't want to play anymore and I didn't want to like explore, be curious, because I thought that That's just what happens in the world. Like I was convinced that the older you get, just the more miserable you get, and a lot of us are like that. A lot of People just feel that way. That's so not the true.
Danna Gift:I Feel like if we could just open up our hearts to our playful nature, be fucking curious. Like stop expecting the world to be a certain way. It's gonna be that way because you're expecting it to be that way. But I think if we could just open our mind and be curious about everything, even like with you, when I'm dating you, i don't act like I ever know what's gonna happen. There's moments, obviously We just had a conversation yesterday but it's like I try to be curious about you all the time. That's why I always ask you about your day or like, how did you feel about this? because I think that curiosity keeps us kids at heart and I think our Kid side of us and our playful nature is actually what speaks to our souls. So I hope that. No, i hope that I can help people want to play again and find harmony with our souls.
Dylan Warter:Is there anything else that you really want people to get out of your content, like If there's one response that will forever keep you going because of that response, or knowing that they're receiving that. Like what is it?
Danna Gift:It sounds funny, but it's to laugh. I Want people to laugh. I want people to laugh at me. I want people to laugh with me. I don't care if you're laughing. It's typically a positive response and your body will probably receive it very positively, and so me I.
Danna Gift:I think laughter is a way to make life fucking magical, whether it's like you're in sorrow and you're laughing at how fucking ridiculous is. There's so many times I've been depressed and I'm like laughing at how fucking sad and sorry I've been for like a month. I'm like, really, donna, you're fucking. This is where you're at in life. It's kind of comical, right. I think everything in life within time is comical on some degree. We can laugh at it, and if you can laugh at it, that means you're probably over it and now you can experience it and attach a positive reaction to it versus the negative. And, yeah, i just I want people to laugh and laugh more, laugh often and Have fun with life, because that's what else is life for, if not to laugh and love. Oh, my gosh, you just said live, laugh, love. That's basically what I said. Wow, i Shit.
Dylan Warter:But I think it's also beautiful because, like there's eight billion plus people in the world out the population is now but the amount of people who have the desire and passion and the result that they're pursuing is for others to laugh Because it's gonna bring joy to their life and you want to bring joy to the. Life is Beautiful, and I'm trying really hard not to dive deep into why that is, because then it'll be another hour here, all right, but yeah, that's, true I think either way, it was from a very young age.
Dylan Warter:I think that there's that's not all Nurture and there's it's core nature, soul, purpose. That is in that, and if there's any experiences that played a role, like whether it's Trauma or love or receiving love or anything as a kid that it's probably just in support of it to really push you The way that you probably just signed up for.
Danna Gift:You know yeah, I believe it too. Laughter is absolutely Part of my core. Yeah, I might even have to dive into that a little deeper myself.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, who knows, maybe that will bring some like put even more wood on the fire. Yeah yeah, some things I'm realizing that we didn't touch on that will leave as a cliffhanger is, obviously, our entire dating Experience, the beginning of it specific. I think it's super important, like and how it's a lot to take for that? Mm-hmm, the deep work that we've done, first me, then you, between me hiring a coach, you being your own coach.
Dylan Warter:I think the your relationship with women for a long time was very Negative, and even for yourself you. The reason why we're having this is because you don't talk about yourself a lot, but now you are more because you're opening up more. Yeah, so I think that's a whole topic.
Danna Gift:Which is also facilitated through this. I feel like I'm sharing more Because of content like my art is creating more vulnerability for me. Yeah, Yeah it's like saving me.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, facilitating your own healing and and growth as well, and I think we we skipped the how you got from Cali to Tucson and Oh yeah, i think there's probably a few other Elements, i think, even over the last year, very specific stuff, that Almost what.
Dylan Warter:Maybe we could do a part two one To touch on some of this stuff, because I think there's a lot of connecting the dots that would then increase other people's awareness, where they can draw parallels of their experiences in the past and how they show up and perceive and think and believe now in their life, and That could shift perspective or increase their own awareness to figure out why they show up certain ways and do certain things.
Dylan Warter:Yeah that would allow them to, with that awareness, create positive change in their life. Yeah. So well, ladies and gentlemen.
Danna Gift:That was fine. It's weird being on the receiving end of this.
Dylan Warter:Yeah, I hope I did a good job at extracting As much information from Donna gifts as I could for you. You know I may have asked three or four questions in Where some stuff was missed, but it's just because there's so many questions to ask. Yeah and, yeah, thank you for being open, honest, vulnerable as you always are, and I'm excited to rewatch this and Also here everybody's responses to finally getting to know the real Donna gift.
Danna Gift:Thank you very much All right folks, that is all until next time see you guys on the next episode of the down to give show.